Crossed Read online

  Table of Contents

  Synopsis

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-three

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Books Available From Bold Strokes Books

  Synopsis

  Agent Luce Hansen returns home to Willow’s Ridge to catch a serial killer who has been murdering young women. It’s the case she’s been waiting for, the case that compels her to return to the small town she turned her back on nineteen years ago, the case she plans to ride from the Ohio BCI all the way to the FBI.

  The case worth risking her shaky relationship with her lover, Rowan. But the horrors of the case recall the unsolved murder of Luce’s first girlfriend, and Luce is forced to confront the local ex-gay ministry that haunted her youth. When the past crosses the present, will Luce lose everything she’s worked so hard to build?

  Crossed

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  http://www.boldstrokesbooks.com

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  Crossed

  © 2015 By Meredith Doench. All Rights Reserved.

  ISBN 13: 978-1-62639-361-5

  This Electronic Book is published by

  Bold Strokes Books, Inc.

  P.O. Box 249

  Valley Falls, New York 12185

  First Edition: August 2015

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

  Credits

  Editor: Ruth Sternglantz

  Production Design: Stacia Seaman

  Cover Design by Gabrielle Pendergrast

  Acknowledgments

  This novel would not have been possible without the testimonies and narratives of ex-gay ministries and conversion therapy survivors. Thanks to all of you who took the time to speak with me or allowed me to read your writings about a deeply personal period in your lives. Please know that your courage, your words, and your pain touched me deeply. These characters would not have been possible without you.

  If you are a survivor of ex-gay ministries and/or conversion therapy, please visit Beyond Ex-gay for resources that may be helpful. #everylifematters.

  I strongly support President Barack Obama’s 2015 call to end the use of conversion therapy for minors throughout the United States. In memory of Leelah Alcorn and the multitudes of other LGBT youth struggling with conversion therapies, a ban on such devastating practices cannot come soon enough.

  Thank you a million times over to my family for all of your support of my writing endeavors. Mom, without your home and the space to write, these words would never have been written. Many thanks to Brian and Alana for offering advice on everything from the book cover to titles. Dad, thank you for always believing that my work would one day be published.

  Many thanks to Geeta Kothari, Man Martin, Christiane Buuck, and other Kenyon workshoppers who offered feedback and guidance on the direction of this novel. A special thank you to Nancy Zafris for her belief in these characters and stellar advice on plot. I still have my plot string.

  Many thanks to Stephen Graham Jones, who first heard the idea for this novel in the English department hallway at Texas Tech University. His response—Cool idea. Write it.—gave me the courage to begin.

  Many thanks to Liz Mackay, officemate extraordinaire, whose support has never wavered. Those writing boot camps and cell phone timers helped this novel come alive.

  Last but certainly not least, many thanks to Bold Strokes Books, particularly Len Barot, for taking a chance on me; Ruth Sternglantz, my editor, for your sharp eye; and G.S. Pendergrast for the cover art.

  Dad: This one’s for you.

  Prologue

  He wasn’t a stranger. She knew him from somewhere; this was her first sensation. The girl had been sitting with her back against the cool limestone wall, flip-flops kicked off, while she drew hearts and stars inside her journal. He’d already filled the entrance of the cave before she realized anyone was there. The bright sun obscured his face and the girl’s eyes moved down the length of his dark shadow and stopped at his midsection—hips that narrowed so thin. Recognition flashed in her eyes, and with a deep breath, relief washed through her.

  “Lose your way?” the girl asked. When he didn’t answer, she added, “It’s easy to get turned around inside these caves.” Her voice carried along the belly of the cavern and rolled out to the shadow.

  When he didn’t respond, she spoke again. This time her voice was a bit too loud and her words came out like a helpless bleat toward the stranger. “Most people don’t come around here.”

  His shadow crept farther and farther over her. She saw the outline of something large and heavy clenched inside his right hand. There was nowhere for her to go but to retreat deeper inside the cave. The girl hurled at him the only thing she could, the journal, and scrambled away on her hands and knees.

  The first blow came hard and quick to the crown of the girl’s head. The dark shadow worked quickly near her feet. He lined his tools against the limestone wall: duct tape, a thick rag, an oversized camera lens pulled from the bag. She lay stone-still in a pool of her own blood and listened as he screwed together the pieces of a tripod near her feet.

  “Damn it to hell,” he grumbled under his breath when one of the legs slipped from his hands.

  He bent over to collect the steel beam and the girl took her opportunity. She rolled over and curled her legs against her chest. The shadow turned just as she kicked her feet into his right hip. She held the strength of a seasoned soccer player in those thighs and knocked him down to the ground, the steel leg of the tripod banging against the stone floor. The girl was up and past him before he realized what had happened.

  The early August humidity drenched the limestone quarry, thick with summer life. Roping vines wound haphazardly through trees and across the paths. Branches that had once been winter barren now screamed with green leaves and offshoots of growth that clawed at her naked legs, leaving swollen scarlet welts. Bits of jagged stone jutted through the mud-hardened and rocky path that was cockeyed and unpredictable. She left smatterings of blood with each frantic step of her shredded bare feet. The world began to spin about the girl as her thick, hot, wet blood seeped between her shoulder blades and trickled down her lower back.

  Ragged, shallow breaths whistled as though a stone had been shoved deep inside her windpipe. She raced on while the shadow gained on her. There was still a good half mile to go before she would reach the entrance to the quarry, before she could reach safety.

  The girl panicked and moved too fast; one foot churned
over the next, her arms pumping out of sync with her legs. A stray branch whipped across her left cheek, gouging high on the cheekbone and ripping the skin back to the ear. It was the protruding edge of a large chunk of limestone, though, that caught her toes and threw her forward. Twigs and pebbles bit the heels of her open palms and ground deep below the skin. Her hips jutted out in a travesty of a downward dog position, and for a few seconds her body threatened to collapse beneath her. She shook her head to fight off the sudden flood of oncoming unconsciousness. Cold, gripping fear rocketed through the girl until she was up on her feet. She struggled to keep some semblance of balance and fought to regain speed. She’d only been down a matter of seconds, but it was enough.

  The shadow lunged for her, and the swipe of his fingertips grazed the back of her flannel shirt. When she stumbled again, he hooked his thick elbow around her throat and yanked her against his heaving, sweating chest. The girl’s legs flew into the air, much like a rag doll’s. She kicked wildly, occasionally making contact with his legs, but her efforts were futile. The shadow’s vise-grip chokehold slowly closed until everything went black.

  Chapter One

  Wednesday, January 9

  Rowan, my life partner, believes there is a universal truth we all must face: our past never dies. Like a giant wheel, everything circles back around.

  Meet everything head-on, Rowan always says. Leave every person and experience with gratitude and peace overflowing inside your heart.

  I’ve insisted on doing things my way, not Rowan’s, which is probably the entire reason why I’m back in a town I never wanted to return to. And why I still dream of the man with thin hips.

  The town’s name, Willow’s Ridge, sends my stomach into a burning roil that fills the back of my throat with a bubbly acid. The universe must be playing some sort of cosmic joke on me. Why else would my very first serial case be located in the same town I swore I’d left forever? White breath clouds escape from my mouth in the cold and I slam my truck door closed. The sky is a dull winter gray with low, thick clouds that seem to rest not far above the tree line. I kick the toes of my lucky Frye boots against the back tire—right, left—knocking loose snow from the intricate and worn treads. Nothing on earth would sound more appealing than to be able to rewind the clock three hours, to go back to when I was nestled in bed with Rowan, safe and so ignorant of what the daylight would bring.

  I’ve worked as a special agent for the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Investigation, the BCI, for the past two years. In that time, I’ve worked a few murder cases and a spree killing, but never a serial. I was trained at the academy for serial murders and profiling, but Ohio isn’t exactly a hotbed of Jack the Rippers. Like my dad always said, you have to start somewhere. So my training has been put to work in a number of serial sex crimes and robberies since I landed the job at BCI. I’m always aware, though, that it would only take one serial murder case to write my ticket to the FBI.

  Director Colby Sanders’s call woke me just after four this morning, his voice as gruff and demanding as he normally is at four in the afternoon. “You got one shot here, Hansen. Understand?” He paused long enough to draw in a deep pull from his cigarette. “Blow this and I’ll see to it you land on street patrol with the county cops.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Sanders talks a good game, but I’ve seen the softer side of him on occasion. He’d been a federal agent, and earlier in his career, he’d worked a number of serial murder cases across the country. Sanders left the Bureau and came to London, Ohio, to direct the BCI when he turned fifty-five. He has a grown daughter in Columbus and grandkids to keep up with. Sanders knew my father, and I will always be grateful that he hand-selected me upon graduation from the academy.

  “I always go with my gut, Hansen. Right now it’s screaming you’re perfect for this gig—experience or not. Pack for a few days. We’ve got a third murder in a little over a year.”

  “A serial.”

  “Looks that way. The third victim managed to get away from our guy last night but died in surgery about an hour ago.”

  “Did they get a statement before…?”

  “Afraid not.” He took another draw on the cigarette. I imagined his leathery face that shows the many hatched lines of sleepless nights and relentless detective duty. His voice carried the weight of years of hard living. “Report to Willow’s Ridge station by zero eight hundred hours.”

  “Willow’s Ridge?”

  I heard the soft but audible sigh on the other end of the phone and imagined his grit-yellow fingertips grinding out the cigarette butt inside his tin ashtray. “Do I need to assign someone else?”

  I kneaded my forehead, the oncoming headache only a few breaths away. “No, sir.”

  “I’m faxing the files now.” There was a shuffling of papers on the other end of the phone. “Good luck, Agent. You’re going to need it.”

  The snow-covered steps lead me up to the entrance of the McCraken County courthouse and police department while nerves pull at my stomach. Performance anxiety has been my constant companion over the last few years; Rowan says I live in a constant and elevated state of agitation. It doesn’t help my nerves to know that the only reason Sanders chose me to work this case over a dozen other agents with many more years of experience is because of my history in Willow’s Ridge. My past, not my skill, has landed me a serial—something I never could have seen coming. The wind whips the surrounding flagpoles as metal bangs against frozen metal. A strong gust threatens to plunder the US and Ohio state flags, both nothing more than a flurry of red, white, and blue. Somewhere in the near distance, there is the haunting wail of a train whistle.

  Once inside the double glass doors, I drop my satchel on the X-ray belt and dig through layers of clothing for the badge attached to my belt. I flip it open for the young security guard at the checkpoint.

  “I can’t make the ID. Your head’s covered.”

  I suddenly realize how unofficial I must look. My body is cocooned within my heaviest black coat, one of those puffy ski jackets that always remind me of inflated trash bags. My gray scarf, complete with black dog hair, has been wound repeatedly around my neck and over my mouth. I wouldn’t be dressed for this winter weather without my black, Russian-style, faux-fur lined hat with the ear coverings flipped down, a Christmas gift from Rowan. In short, I look a heck of a lot like the Unabomber.

  I unwind and uncap myself. “I hate the cold. I just got back from vacation in Maui.”

  The officer’s face softens around the edges of his mouth and eyes as he compares the ID photo to my face. “Welcome to Willow’s Ridge. Tonight will be the coldest we’ve had in years.” He flips through a daily log. “Agent Luce Hansen, Captain Frank Davis is waiting for you in the morgue.”

  *

  The basement’s wide corridors feature a line of enormous plate-glass windows with their taupe blinds closed to hide what actually goes on inside the coroner’s office. Between the windows, the core values of the Willow’s Ridge police and court system have been painted in ornate letters: honesty, safety, integrity, and self-discipline.

  No matter how you decorate it, though, a morgue is still a morgue. Formaldehyde assaults my nostrils as soon as I push through its glass doors. The lights hum above and cast the quiet lab with an eerie glow of silver and metal. Stryker saws, hammers, scalpels, and other instruments line the counter next to the double sink. Two silver body trays sit side by side in the center of the large room. One holds a white-sheeted body with only the arms, shoulders, and head exposed, while the other holds a stack of case files and evidence bags. Scrapes and multiple bruising appear on the female body. She’s fresh. This must be Emma Parks, the young woman that has brought me to Willow’s Ridge.

  A tall African American man steps out of an office doorway to greet me. “Agent Hansen? Captain Frank Davis.” His grip on my hand is strong and engulfing, his palm probably twice the size of mine. The captain’s face looks haggard but kind with smile lines that crease around his hazel ey
es and wide mouth. Davis is dressed smart in a crisp white oxford, a navy tie, and pants that have been pressed to show the creases. He can’t be much older than forty-five.

  Davis introduces me to Dr. John Mitchell, the medical examiner for McCraken and two neighboring counties. What’s left of Mitchell’s red hair hangs in tight curls around his ears. In the bright lighting, Mitchell looks as though he’s in a state of constant blush. “We’re sure glad to see you, Hansen.”

  “How is Willow’s Ridge holding up under all this pressure?”

  “It shuts down after five, more or less.” Davis takes my satchel and coat to hang behind the door. His movements are confident and fluid, which tells me he’s a man comfortable leading others. “We’ve implemented a seven p.m. curfew for everyone under the age of eighteen.” Davis finger-brushes his short gray-peppered hair. “There’s a lot of panic out there.”

  As I stand beside the body, I tie my hair into a low ponytail. Davis hands me a mask and a pair of powder-blue latex gloves that are too large for me, the excess rubber pooling in my palms. Although I’m built muscular and probably stronger than most of the law enforcement officers I meet, I’m short—my boot heels push me just over the five-four mark. I’ve always wanted to be able to palm a basketball and slam-dunk that ball through the hoop. It won’t happen for me in this lifetime without a ladder.

  Mitchell struggles to snap the latex gloves over his red, meaty hands, then pulls the white sheet down to Emma Parks’s waist. The puckered blue skin of death shows the jigsaw stitching from the autopsy’s Y incision, which starts under each of her collarbones. I immediately begin breathing through my mouth, a lifesaving trick I learned early in my training.